How to Agitate an Italian

 

Just another day at Carnival.

 

I know, at the end of the last post I promised you the next installment of the funeral rites, but I thought perhaps a little levity was in order.

When we learned that Naina had passed, we were about 36 hours from returning to the U.S. from a European vacation, a sort of second honeymoon. Incidentally, he was really excited we were going, and my husband talked with him every other day or so while we were there.
 
One of the great things about traveling, I think, is interacting with the locals. Herewith, I bring you one of my favorite local interaction stories.

 We were in Venice, and had made our leisurely way to a restaurant recommended by the owner of our hotel. It’s run by a couple in their 70s, and we were seated by the husband. Let’s call him Beppo. He left us with menus and came back after about 10 minutes, whereupon he asked for our wine order. My husband Mowgli (not his real name) asked for Moscato (he’s a fan of the sweet wines), whereupon Beppo berated Mowgli, in Italian, for ordering a dessert wine as an aperitif.
 
I have two semesters of Italian, and Mowgli understands only the Italian included in “The Godfather,” but we both understood exactly what Beppo was going on about. “That’s for after dinner! You can’t order it before you eat! Here! Look, we have many nice wines! White, red, you pick one!”
 
We selected a Chianti Classico. Beppo indicated his approval, went to fetch the bottle and came back in about 10 minutes. He opened, Mowgli sipped, swished, swallowed and approved. Beppo poured for both of us. Then he asked for our dinner order.
 
I said, “ Il mio marito e vegetarian. Non mangia ni pesce, ni carne.” My husband is a vegetarian. He doesn’t eat fish or meat.”
 
Beppo threw his hands in the air, declared that he was going to get his wife, and turned on his heel. I didn’t hear much of what he said as he stormed off, but I imagine it was something like, “Crazy Americans! First they want Moscato to start, then they don’t want fish or meat! You go deal with them, I’ve had enough!”

For the record, about 30 minutes later I had one of the best seafood meals of my entire life.

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